James - The Dancing Geek said it most recently. We've all heard it, used it, believed it and generally acknowledged that 'life' gets in the way.
"When there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. When there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. When there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. When there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world." ~Chinese Proverb~
Life makes me mad, sad, frustrated, unhappy, moody, melancholy, pissed, unmotivated and generally all around miffed when it 'has gotten in the way'. Okay life doesn't make me feel anything, it's life after all, intent on replicating and reproducing itself in all manners and forms because that is Life.
I will take all responsibility for the fact that I allow myself to feel irritated, frustrated, moody, unmotivated, etc. when 'life gets in the way'. I use it or my ego uses it because it wants to control things, like how, when and why I get caught up in my own stuff, doing my 'thing', on this high energy level so I can get that rush of endorphins baby, cause it's a drug and feels real real good and it's legal and I control it with a switch - oh yeah and then 'life gets in the way' and starts to harsh my mellow and bring me down, hard.
Life is withdrawal man.
See here's what happens to me when the dream mojo, the dream muse and I begin to dance and I lose myself in doing the work to make 'The Dream' come true and I'm caught up in it, swept away by it and loving being in that space, then BAM 'life' shows up.
Arrrrggghhhh. 'Life' why are you showing up NOW, right NOW when I'm vibrating at my highest energetic level inside with my purpose being filled completely and I'm running over and spilling and filling and . . .
Oh, ah, a vessel which is full can contain no more and must empty itself of it's contents.
Really profound insight, but could you 'life' please stop blocking my legal, self contained drug of choice here?
It's when I realize I am high from that legal drug of choice that this comes to me.
"So life you really aren't getting in the way, what you're asking from me is to empty what I've received back into 'life' by paying attention to what just showed up and giving what just showed up that same vibrational energy I've been swept up in, filled with that is now spilling over and start giving so I don't make this mess of overfilling this bodily vessel through which 'life' is running."
Hmmm ok so that means I have to view the interruption which frustrates and miffs me as welcom and take the energy vibration and pour it into whatever you just interrupted me with?
Free will and my three year old me show up, shouting no, No, NO, NOOOOO, pitching a tantrum on the floor all the while I'm thinking . . .
That sounds so profound in theory and my fingers type the letters and as soon as they are typed my head starts pounding.
Aha, life is interrupting my train of thought and so now I get my chance to practice. Noticing and applying the energetic vibration of noticing.
Noticing the pain in my neck. Noticing the twitching of my fingers and my heads desire to roll . Noticing the itch in my right ear and how all I want to do is scratch it. Noticing how noticing the itch makes it feel less like an itch and more like air or floss clearing the debris. Still with eyes closed, fingers moving on the keyboard, head lilting, tilting to the left side.
Noticing the pain that is showing up in my right arm, the cold air across my fingers, the nails as they tap on the keyboard. Noticing my head now tilted to the right still feeling the itch, the floss, the tickle of something whispered.
Noticing the warmth emanating from my legs and the cold air as it mixes with that warmth. The slight twitch of my head, the itch in the rear of my skull on my scalp, on my neck, hearing, feeling my chest and abdomen rise with each inhale of the breath of life.
Smelling the dust in the air around me and pine resin of the new wood of unpainted windows and feeling the sneeze build to release the trapped particles bringing me those smells and that is life tooo and I am lost in it.
I am thankful, grateful for its' existence. Now to remember that when I am lost in a project and lost in doing.
Noticing the itch, feeling it in my left ear and taking the time to stop the itch by engaging it. A cold chill shakes me momentarily. More to be told, more to hear and I break out of the energy of noticing because that is part of my life too free will.
I can't life (yeah that was a typo yet it fits) I can't life is what I want to moan when ever it nudges me to share my new found energetic vibrations.
I can't life. I'm working on something too important to be bothered right now, feeding and stroking my ego, seeking that high.
Then we wonder why life gets in our way, because life is the only important thing and has to remind us of that fact.
I'd like to give life another response. Something like Oh hey life, what's up? I got this energy thing going on and I want to share it with this other life and you want me too, too. Okay, life I can life. I can.
That's what I want to say with a straight face and in all silliousness.
I can life. I can.
Point taken! I suppose I could be grateful that life has interrupted and stopped me spending too long getting sucked into one thing (as is my usual way of doing things).
ReplyDeleteIf I stop assuming that the best thing to do is keep doing what I'm doing right now (even though, for me, that is soooo hard) then suddenly life's interruptions become "Hey, here's something even more fun!" Or perhaps important.
@James it's a theory about moving the 'feeling we have when we are in the flow' into the rest of life and seeing how that helps keep us in flow.
ReplyDeleteTheory is not always right or useful. I'm testing it out now and so far so good but it's only been a week since I've been consiously doing this.
I'm also thinking as a creative type, we have to trust that we are going to return to the thing that brought us into flow in the first place.
Theory, all theory at this point