Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The side of the mountain with the best views

Last week I revealed the after effects of my first session with Jane, a certified EFT, Hypnosis and NLP Practitioner.

This week is all about what happened during our session.
In our initial session, I began working on a fog which surrounded me and always rolled in as soon as I attempted to take action on and follow through with plans and goals.

I had images of mountains and valleys, rivers and a desire for bridges.

It also brought up a strong desire, need, adrenaline filled reptilian instinct to run and protect myself, to quit trying to access what the issue was or is and just be fine with how things are (forever and ever amen).

It's not as though I live in a box under a bridge or in a van by the side of the river.

So what is with this desire to quit and run away?

Yes, it feels unsafe to discover this part of myself. This little girl, who was repeatedly abused and made to believe it was her fault. That if she had been a better little girl, more loved, more loving, had been worthy of love, no one would have done or allowed "those things" to happen.

I know lots of sexual abuse survivors suffer from this delusional idea, that there was something, we as children had the power to do to prevent the abuse.

I know it's false and yet still some part of me believes and needs it to be true. It's not true is it?

And that's why the amygdala or reptilian brain takes over, directing the adrenal glands to secrete adrenaline and directing the blood supply be decreased to the thinking, logical, rational and creative parts of the brain and increased to the legs, arms, feet, hands, eyes and ears. It's preparing me to protect my body with either fight or flight.

So Jane talks me down from this place I went to willingly, knowing this would be the response. She guides me into the fog, has me describe it to her it's color, texture, weight and scale of resistance from 1 to 10. Her prompts, based on my own stream of consciousness and visualized imagery, along with the physical sensations from my body and the emotions I am able to identify, helps me clear some of the fog. The clearing of the fog reveals the existance of mountains and valleys.

I knew the valleys were there and I am the one who created the fog, which gave me the ability to protect myself from what's in the valleys. The problem with fog though is when it obscures, it obscures everything in it's path, so I also wasn't able to find my way up the mountain.

Jane then helps me remember that I am safe, even if the valleys are exposed. She asks me if I want to go into the valley. Me, no of course not. I want to build a bridge.

Yes and my rational mind peeks and realizes that to build a bridge we must go into the valley. More fear shows up. The fog starts to roll back in.

Had I been performing the meridian tapping without Jane, I would have tapped on the fog again and most likely stopped there. With Jane, using her training and awareness of what was happening, we stopped the fog from rolling in and she asked me to see the valley clearly and reminded me I didn't need to go into it. She asked me to describe what I could of the valley.

I saw a river and dense growth and boulders. I stood half way up the mountain viewing this, from a safe and supported distance.

Near the end of the exploration, I saw a triangle with smooth sides, holding all of this pain, despair and rage. That's where we ended exploring as our hour closing. The final step for the session was to reinforce the positive aspects learned during the exploration, which meant a few final rounds of tapping on the acupressure points. As soon as we finished, I knew almost immediately what our next session would cover.

This is why I'm am growing to appreciate Meridian tapping and working with a trained professional, more and more. I was safe and supported. Now when I see the fog, I know it's also hiding beauty. I act to see the beauty, knowing both rage and damage inhabit the valley and I don't have to get lost in there to access the beauty, which is also there.

If you're already doing Meridian Tapping or some form of the Emotional Freedom Technique, working with a  EFT trained and certified practitionar can help you go deeper, safely.

Find someone you trust. Trust yourself. Heal Yourself.

Read more about what Jane offers and how she offers it.

Next week, the Fire in the Mountain.

Stay tuned as I openly discuss my process of healing and overcoming my obstacles.

Until next time Be who you are meant to be.


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