Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Supposed To. . .

I am supposed to be writing articles and putting them up on article directories and pointing them to affiliate programs, because that is what I told myself I would do, oh I don't know, two/three weeks ago. I like to eat food and pay for things and doing the bum marketing/article marketing thing seemed, well easy, sort of, relatively. Gahh anyway . . .

I started. When I say I started I mean, I signed up for one article directory as an author and sort of half way filled out my profile and then I got to the Bio Box and I froze.

Geesh, you know the one thing I like and dislike about myself at the same time is my ability to make something overly dramatic that is really simple, simple, simple.

I recall a whipping incident from childhood.

My mom liked to sit at the end of one of my twin beds, while I jumped between them and out into the hall, to avoid her lashes. To hear her tell it, she received as many of the licks as I did. I'm not sure I believe her.

After this jumping and running bit, she finally cornered me in the hall way, finished the whipping and started walking away.

Oh no I wasn't done. I fell on the floor, moaning, tears streaming down my face and at the top of my lungs screamed, "See what you've done! I can't walk!" as I pulled myself down the hallway with my hands, legs hanging useless behind me.

Did I mention it was summer time and Every. Single. Window. Was. Open.

Since my mom couldn't let me see her laughing, she calmly walked away as though nothing was wrong. I dragged my lifeless legs down the remaining hallway and into my room, where I promptly grabbed a book and curled up on the bed.

So what does that have to do with a Bio Box in my profile for an article directory?

Drama with a Bio Box as in I don't know what to say about myself and I want someone else to do it for me because that's easier and much more dramatic than me doing it.

No, that's not really what I'm saying.* Yes, yes it is but I don't want to say that's what I'm saying because then it's just another way for me to avoid doing what I need to do.

Doesn't it say over there near the upper right hand corner something about 'Authors - Minerva F. Bryant . . . doing what I need to do?'

Yeah I suppose it does. So instead of writing the Bio Box, I chose to write a 100 word fiction story, which I will post in the next few minutes.


  1. Hmm. Maybe you can just cut and paste something you've already written? Who said a bio box can't be something unusual.

    Or maybe you could make your bio box a short story? I dunno, something is better than letting this "but it has to be perfect" thing stop you.

    Emma made an interesting comment on my blog today:

    "Whether it’s a blog strapline or a draft novel, it is saying “This is me” without any opportunity for arm waving, explanations, adaptations of behaviour to the other person’s response etc. People will undoubtedly draw conclusions about us, based on these rickety words. Scary, scary, scary!"

    Maybe that's the problem here? At any rate, you're doing a good job of distracting yourself!

  2. @Terry - Yes some of it definitely has to do with "drawn conclusions" for sure. In my head that's connected with blind assumptions along with my own uncertainty and lack of faith and belief in myself.

    Then there is some 'am I good enough?' and since I've asked the question, my subconscious answers with a, "No, it's got to be perfect".

    And really, even after all that - it's my pattern of avoidance which is getting better because you are reading this post - haha.

    Then I go into well, I'll just let what comes, be.

    I asked for a 100 word blurb about myself and I got one. It's just not exactly what I expected to get.


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